Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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