Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Can I color on your dick again?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
