this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
