Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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