Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
