maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
