if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize