Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
