Are we in a gay sports bar?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
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her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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