The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Sorry my hands just texted you
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
