Whod you bang
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
