So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
