Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
