What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
