: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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