so that wasnt chicken after all
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
