I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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