I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Even the bartender felt bad for me
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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