have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize