how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
