his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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