he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
