So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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