That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Drunk walkin through police station. America
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
