You just made me feel so damn special
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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