Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
