my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
