You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
