I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I think I just shit out all my problems.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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