How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
