I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
