All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
