my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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