We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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