i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
