is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
