Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
