i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
