is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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