Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
