i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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