She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
