So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Randomize
