He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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