I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
