Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
