Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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