Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
