Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
