Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
