wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The uberlube is also flammable
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
