oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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