did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
