I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
