On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
