I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
