Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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