Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
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He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He has the fingertips of a God
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