He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
