I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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